


and, not real world – if a policy is proven to have a fundamental flaw – i.e., it uses offensive language, the bill would never pass

by dogf1ght



Series: talk faster, think harder [3]
Category: Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: BRENDON URIE IS A WOMAN WAS AWOMAN AND WILL ALWAYS BE, Gen, Misgendering, and their need to use the language k, but never get pronouns right, but ya know debaters, it's like, lowkey tho, not like, policy debate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-25
Updated: 2015-11-25
Packaged: 2018-05-03 09:05:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5284868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dogf1ght/pseuds/dogf1ght
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What's the aff's plan? Something to do with megadata. What are they debating about? Not megadata.</p>
            </blockquote>





	and, not real world – if a policy is proven to have a fundamental flaw – i.e., it uses offensive language, the bill would never pass

**Author's Note:**

> title from insibility K
> 
> i'd like to point it down i'm toning down the swearing for y'all like...listen if I took a swear jar to practices and car rides to tournaments we could fund classes to learn Japanese for each person on our team (admittedly, it's a small team), fly to japan, and spend an entire season there debating in japan. I am not shitting you ok like I don't know if this is what it's like for other teams but hot DAMN do our coaches swear
> 
> also this is based on an actual round I had to deal with. Pronouns, kids. They are Very Very important

This, no joke, has to be the weirdest fucking debate Brendon and Spencer have ever been in. 

They’ve already discussed menstruation, pronouns, the price of Trader Joe’s tofu, the accessibility of tofu versus KFC chicken, and how classism and racism are intertwined. No one’s confused to the point where the debate has come to an intellectual stop, but holy shit, what does any of this have to do with the affirmative plan. 

(It doesn’t, in case you were asking. The plan has something to do with megadata.)

 

“You can’t consume meat and debate with an Anthro K, it’s morally impossible. For example, I can’t say that pens are evil, and then flow with them,” the 1A/2N gestures to the G2s Brendon and Spencer are flowing with, along with the pen his partner is writing with. “She also cannot bring this up in the 2NR because it would be abuse to the system, because we cannot spend our precious time not talking about our original plan. Speech.” He stops his timer, and so do Brendon and Pete, who’s watching the debate because he’s got a bye round. Andy’s watching two teams from Michigan who are both infamous for wanting to destroy each other. The three of them jot down the length of the speech, 4:56, and then Brendon tells the judge to start prep time.

Pete, who took Brendon under his wing the first day of practice, got the little guy into the habit of writing down how long each speech was, and how much prep time was used and when. Partially because it’s fun to look back and see how much was used, and partially because it shows you how wisely (or not) you’ve used your time. 

(And Pete has a laminated bookmark that’s duct taped to their table, but that’s unrelated.)

Spencer and Brendon lock eyes with each other, and begin planning out Brendon’s speech. This is their last chan to prove that they’ve won to the judge, and unless their 2A/1N fucks up, they’ve got to do this right.

They’ve been constantly misgendering the both of them throughout the whole process (it started during the first thirty seconds of cross ex), and Pete hoped they’d bring in the language k into it, but it’s their last speech and if Pete has to see another judge’s look of annoyance he’s going to sacrifice a novice kid to the gods. Seriously, he watched Tyler and Josh last tournament, and when they tried to poorly refute some disad, the judge looked like he was going to cry. Oh, terrorism, how everyone hates you so. 

The good news is, Brendon flows like a motherfucker, so he does pretty well on a line-by-line. He destroys their watered-down point on their anthro k (“It’s not hypocritical of me to eat chicken and present the anthro k. We’re saying that your plan is anthropocentric, not that we aren’t”), shuts them down on their misgendering of Brendon and Spencer (“If you can’t respect your opponents, then you shouldn’t be able to compete”), the point they made about menstruation (“Female archetype? What does that even mean?”), and their defence on T (“they want to stop Megadata surveillance, they said this themselves in cross ex. Our counter-definition of ‘curtail’ means to pull back, not stop”). Pete’s proud, overall. Brendon and Spencer needed to look at the judge during cross ex, but that’s an easily fixable habit. He waits for the judge to tell them all her decision and the reasons for her decision before grabbing his stuff and escorting them out of the room. 

Pete meets them at the front of the room after the judge finishes her speech. “You did good,” he says as he ruffles up both their hair. “But next time, Spencer” the younger debater turns to talk to him. “Bring up the damn language k.”

**Author's Note:**

> if anyone can guess the two teams i'm talking about that Andy watched you get an internet kiss (or hug) (or wave)


End file.
